Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
