Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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