we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
