i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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