Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize