I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
