I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
