Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
