Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
