Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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