you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
