i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
