Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
