Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
