Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
