Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
