im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
