i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
