can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
