If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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