You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
