I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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