This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
