bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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