I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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