summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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