the condom got lost in my hair
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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