my vag is so smooth its legendary
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
