kristin has been a bad kristin
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize