thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
