she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
