I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't deserve a penis
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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