SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize