It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
