I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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