You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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