please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
God, I missed his penis.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
