ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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