Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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