haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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