tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize