I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
