just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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