Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
