yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
