his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
