the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
