He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize