I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize