Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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