I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
