It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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