just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
