I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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