He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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