Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she told me i tasted like america
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
