i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
