Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
now i know why i became what i already was.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She even gives head with a lisp.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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