Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize