we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
