thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize