I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
