To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
