I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
