She's JV to your varsity
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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