Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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