Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
