Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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