Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
