It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
