She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
