he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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