Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
