There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
