Pappa wants mamma naked
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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