'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
