shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
