somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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