White coat. Heels.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
