He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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