i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
