im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
