i may or may not be watching the land before time
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
