dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
