Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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