omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
