but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
